TRUTH IS TH FIRST CASUALTY.

Littlelove-notes.

http://littlelove-notes.blogspot.com

dearest.

♥CHANNICE
first candle on 03August
Attached ; ♥16AUGUST2008

Hit me.

Love stories.

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Babies.

Mylittlebabies.

Saturday, October 11, 2008, 8:54 PM

how does it feel to be abandoned by :
x . classmates ,
x . sisters ,
x . school teachers ,
x . family members ,
x . friends ,
x . everyone else in this world ?

currently im experiencing that ...

1, classmates , sisters , school teachers .
starting at first , i thot i had loads of true friends & i was very happy . but after 2007 starts , everything starts crashing down on me . yep , that where i felt 'abandoned' . now everything to me , just doesnt seem right . yes , i still have sherman , wesley & beebee . but , just still doesnt seem right , when i only keep going out in duos . seeing other people in cliques , my heart sunk .

this year , i've became quieter & quieter . starting to keep things to myself again . few weeks ago , i thot having a sister would be great . & then , clique was form & im extremely happy but they couldnt go out like other people do , i didnt mind that . now , everything has changed . everyone got their own world , changed friends . seems that , everything i've done for em , getting scolded by outsiders , letting people hate me and not them , are all depreciated .

i never stop giving up to just make some teachers appreciate me . but now i guess its time i stop doing it . harder i try , more i get hurt from th results i tried . they say that , trying has no harm , but hey , i TRIED . could you all SEE that ? NO ! N-O NO! well , im gonna put a STOP sign now . i wont try any harder , i'll just maintain th same .

2, friends ,
hey , check out my MSN contacts , it has 212 people inside . & guess what ? NONE of them talk to me ! i didnt ask em to add me for nothing ! msn is not to add to see who has more people / to just log in & see their personal msg , if their personal msg is angry , then convince em ? NO ! MSN is for CHATTING ! THATS WHY ITS CALL 'MESSANGER' . nothing to say ? FIND A BLOODY TOPIC TO TALK ABOUT . if th person's first impression was like shit , then fine , dont talk .

3, family members ,
HAHAHA , here's MY favourite one ! please , do i even stand a fair place with my brother in my mom's heart ? I DONT THINK SO . ayden is being loved , being adored . EVERYONE is asking about him ! hey how is he , hey your boy got listen to you , hey your boy so cute , hey THIS AND THAT . im tired of HEARING those sentences ! yes , im jealous over him . at the same time , im ALONE . no one cares about me except th 3 mentioned earlier which one of em now dont do that anymore too but they're not my family members . even though my mom rarely spends time with ayden toos BUT still im the worst !

--

sigh , im lost in the ocean...
& i still could give a fake smile ....
to everyone .